Rejected
by Komamura's son
Summary: Just stupid crack I put my OCs from my stories, but mostly SWAT Kats. Warning, doesn't really make sense.
1. Chapter 1

**Decided to go through with the crack stories. Just nonsense in my mind and a few parodies. This first few skits are based on Jonathan Ian Mather's Neurotically Yours episodes and Chibisodes.**

**No disclaimer needed for this, it's just rejected things.**

* * *

New Phone

A young looking ten year old Cody walked up to his father and held up his phone.

"Dad, I want a new phone." Chance looked at his son and glared.

"Why? Is it broken?" Taking a moment to snap his phone in half, the tabby put on a pleading face.

"Y-Yeah, it's looking pretty bad..." The older tabby deadpanned.

"Well obviously you can't be trusted with nice things, so no." Cody began to whine.

"Awwww c'mon! I thought you were going to do that whole parental thing like, 'Well if it's not broken then you don't need a new one' Type... thing... you adults do... With your mind."

"Hmm." The older tabby grumbled.

"C'mon, I'm ten! You know what happens to ten year olds at school that don't have a phone? They get molested by the janitor." Silence filled the kitchen. "Ok that's not true. The janitor is this woman with no arms and she mops the floor by shuffling her feet. She wears these special shoes." Cody pointed at his own feet. "She can tap dance too, I could send you a video... If I had a new phone." Another grumbled came from the older tabby. "Roy! Back me up on this!"

The ten year old fox flew in and floated above there heads. "No arms, tap dancing janitors are awesome!" With that said he floated away.

"J-Just go to your room." The annoyed Cody stomped to his room and complaining. The fox appeared again and pointed at the plate with a bagel Cody had interrupted Chance from eating.

"Dude, are you going to eat that bagel? 'Cause I wouldn't. Cholesterol, at your age, Very Dangerous. This bagel can kill you." He stated with a smile. Chance glared at the fox.

"Go to Cody's room." The fox glared back.

"Aw man, fucking son of a bitch! I can't believe-All I wanted was a fucking bagel! Now I have to go to the Doom Room of Death. Fucking melancholy, pseudo-hyperactive, bullshit child." He complained as he walked into Cody's room. Chance held his face with his paw. All Roy wanted was a bagel.

* * *

Inappropriate Bagel

The ten year old fox snuck up on the younger tabby as he was on his tablet.

"Hey, wanna see the new frumpy cat meme?" Roy growled.

"There's a new frumpy cat meme every five minutes. So no."

"You're such a piss y'know, like urinary excrement from some girl's ovaries." Cody snapped back.

"Hey, find me something interesting and I'll look at it." Cody began looking through various things.

"Hmm, fat black lady saying she doesn't have time for stuff?"

"Eh, ain't nobody got time for that." The fox dully replied.

"Zombie walk in Canada?"

"What is this, 2008?" The tabby began getting annoyed.

"Well what the fuck do you like then?"

"Bagels." Roy smiled.

"And...?'

"Cream cheese! Creamy cream cheese!"

"Bob dammit, you're a difficult prick!" The fox pointed at the tabby.

"BUY ME BAGELS!" Cody sighed deeply.

"Ok... Bagel videos." He waited for the results to come in. "How to make a bagel?"

"Don't care."

"How to eat a bagel?"

"Already know how!" The tabby looked through various video titles.

"Man fucks a bagel with his fat cock?"

"That it's, I'm banning the internet!"

"You can't ban the internet!" The fox flew in the air.

"BANNED! Banning the internet, there shall be no internet for abusing the bagel~!" He flew off, continuing to rant off. "Bagel abuse is banned, keep your dick in your pants and stop molesting my food!" Cody ignored the fox and tried to watch the video, getting immediately blocked out. He continued relentlessly to try and watch it, but he was denied access.

"Stupid fucking parental lock, how am I ever going to learn about sex?"

* * *

Medication Side effects

Jake sighed as he looked through the cabinets for a spoon, unfortunately the only one was a comedic large spoon.

"My spoon is too big..." He complained, watching as Chance walked in dressed as a banana. Baldo walked in and wondered what the hell was going on.

"Why is Chance dressed like a banana?" Jake rubbed his temples.

"After getting hurt, the doctors prescribed him some meds and he's been all over the place with the side effects."

"Side effects, like what?" The cinnamon tom took a moment to recall today's events.

"Well, sometimes he's angry."

"Fuck you toaster! Bitch! Fuck you with a pitchfork!" He growled and flipped off said kitchen appliance. "Urgh! Toaster!"

"Then there's times when he's just sad." Which Chance was slumped against the wall in an inclined position.

"Why does society hate me...?"

"And then... he's just plain slutty." The tabby was playing a ukulele while his left eye twitched.

"Free handjobs for whoever buys me coffee! Free handjobs for whoever buys me coffee!" With that said, the human ran out to buy him some coffee.

Jake sighed as he stared at the too big spoon.

* * *

Assassination Fail

Roy lead Micheal through a forest, they were sent to kill a witch living in a pumpkin. Though they were skeptical that this person was a witch, but Chance said.

"She lives in a fucking pumpkin what more proof do you need? All that's missing is a giant sign saying, Witch lives here!"

"Alright, time to plan out our attack." The lynx looked at his love.

"Two options, we can go in there screaming our heads off or we can try assassination."

"You really think that's an option?" He chuckled. Roy rubbed his head.

"Your right, what the hell was I thinking? Good thing I learned all my assassination techniques from Black Star." He smiled. Micheal did a double take and looked at the fox.

"Wait what?" But it was too late, Roy ran off and crashed through the window in a very noticeable way. To make matters worse the room he crashed in was the bathroom and he was heading towards the tub... with the witch in it. And so, Micheal kicked the fox out of the bathtub and yelled at him.

* * *

**Soooo yeah, that's all the crack ideas I saw the guys in. I'll take requests for stupid things.**


	2. Chapter 2

**More mindless nonsense.**

* * *

Death should not have taken thee

Roy sighed as he sat at his throne. He watched as Micheal rushed up to him.

"Roy!" He was stressed and tired.

"Babe... I'm the king." He was glaring back at him.

"You're lucky I love you, king Koma. But they took the princess and won't give her back." The fox scratched his chin.

"So, send the hero." The lynx deadpanned.

"There isn't one." The fox sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Got it! You be the hero!" Micheal fell over, he was no hero. He lead the way to the armory to give him some equipment.

"Just go inside and get a sword or somethin'." Roy lazily brushed him off. The lynx attempted to open the door, but found it to be locked.

"I can't get in." Roy sighed, he pushed the lynx aside and attempted to jimmy the lock. After five hours, he managed to break down the door.

"Now get your shit ready."

One failed battle later

"Dammit! How could you die!" The fox king yelled at the lynx for getting a game over. Micheal had a bandaged on his cheek, but everything else seemed normal, despite dying at the hands of the enemy.

"I'm no hero, but I think I should add. Wanting a hero played right, you should just play it yourself!" The fox rubbed his head.

"Eh what the hell, might as well. Our ratings will sky rocket after this."

"...Wait, what the...?" Micheal realized that Roy was slightly aware of the story they were in.

Another failed attempt later

"Fuck it, the princess is dead to us." Roy complained. Micheal sighed as he stood by his side and just watched the castle stay exactly the same. No consequences whatsoever for failing to save the princess.

* * *

A very Dark Kat Christmas

The whole group smiled as they exchanged gifts and laughed by the Christmas tree. Even the villains were having fun with the SWAT Kats and our four high schoolers. But when it came to Dark Kat's presents, everything went downhill.

"This one is for the fox." Roy ravaged through the wrapping.

"Oh boy, I got a... A TOY TRUCK!?" Memories of the never ending nightmare returned, including having to get hit by the very truck this toy was modeled after.

"Oh c'mon, I know you like trucks." The fox was nearly crying. Baldo was given a butterknife, Razor got a coupon, Chance got a pair of bee boxers, and Micheal got some bandages. "One present left, and it's Cody's." Said tabby sweat dropped.

"No no, it's ok. It's the thought that counts." He refused his gift.

(Later that day)

MikeBlazeSinian and Komamura's son were idly chatting.

"So, did you give Cody his own chapter arc in the story?"

"Yeah." Koma answered.

"Did you remember to put who it was from?" Mike added. A minute gone by with complete silence.

"SHIT!"

* * *

Enchanted Ring

The deputy mayor sighed as she stared off into the distance. The fox noticed her and asked what was wrong.

"So what's up your ass today?"

"Well, ever since I got this breast reduction, men have been avoiding me for weeks." She whined.

"Well, ya gotta remember that most men think about big boobs nonstop."

"Yeah, but it sucks to know they were only nice to me because of some chest fat."

"Then get the 'Big-boobs-when-your-in-the-mood ring'. It's enchanted to make them bigger whenever you feel like having them." Roy watched as Callie stared at him.

"They seriously have those?"

"Yup." The deputy mayor pulled out her phone.

"Fuck it, I'm ordering two."

"Why two?"

"One for each boob." The fox rolled his eyes.

Three to four business days later...

Callie was sitting in her bathtub, a peeping tom kat in clear view by her window. She put the ring on. Her breasts majorly increasing in size.

"Big boobs."

"I love you!" The creeper yelled from the window. Callie removed the ring. They began to shrink back to normal size.

"Small boobs."

"I don't love you..." The same process repeated for five minutes, until...

"Ultra-humongous-ginormous boobs!" Her breasts expanded to fill up the whole tub. The peeping tom kat's head exploding from the amount of blood rushing to it at once.

"This thing is awesome!"

* * *

Bacon wrapped hotdogs

"Maybe he'll go away if I ignore him..." Chance muttered to himself when he saw Roy holding a hotdog with a way too happy face.

"Chance, you gotta try these bacon wrapped hotdogs!" The tabby growled, having the hotdog repeatedly poking his cheek.

"Roy... stop it, I said STOP IT!" From his outburst, the entire Salvage Yard blew up. The two were covered in ashes, the bacon wrapped hotdog still in one piece and untouched by any damage. Cody emerged from the rubble and stared at the two.

"What are we going to do when Jake gets home?"

* * *

Levels means nothing

"Go, Scizor!" Jake sent out his level 90 Scizor. The fox sighed.

"Go, Hope." Roy sent out his level 57 Togekiss. The fox had the first move, he ended up using Air Slash. Only a small amount of health went down for Scizor.

"Hah, now use-"

The foe's Scizor flinched!

"Never mind, next turn for sure!" Jake's Pokémon being very slow, still had to succumb to yet another Air Slash, bringing upon another flinch. The exact next turn went out with, you guessed it, Air Slash and Scizor flinching. Bringing his health down to the halfway marker. The cinnamon tom was grinding his teeth. That was the third time in a row.

"There's no way you can be that luck-"

The foe's Scizor flinched!

"Motherfucker!" He cursed at the very unlikely coincidences. He sighed as he saw the all too familiar words appear again. The whole battle ended by the hands of Air Slash. "I'm done." Jake, frustrated left as soon as his Scizor fainted. (This actually happened to me yesterday, I love my Togekiss!)

* * *

Insane Mario Song

Cody was bored one day and began looking at random videos. He found one of an old Super Mario World video labeled 'Insane Mario Song, Dorkly Video'. Feeling bored enough to watch it, the tabby clicked the video and began watching. He began watching in utter amazement,

"Holy shit this is amazing." Curious to what he was watching, Roy and Baldo peered over his shoulder. All the sound effects of Mario going through the custom level was becoming a complete medley of a various songs.

"That must've taken forever to time correctly." The human gasped. After the video was done, which was eleven minutes long, the three were speechless.

"Bowser must be so pissed right now." The fox broke the silence.

"What do you mean?" The tabby looked at him.

"Think of it this way, Mario not only obliterated his whole Koopa Troop, but he made a fucking musical out of it." Silence followed after his comment. "Mario is truly a monster, he killed like ten innocent baby Yoshi in there." With that said, the fox left, leaving them to wonder about it. (Seriously, watch that video, it's that amazing!)

* * *

**That's all for today. I guess Leon's happy now.**


	3. Chapter 3

Blackout

"Alright, it's about to start!" Roy was bouncing unsteadily on his couch that acted as his bed. Cody yawned as he stared at the TV.

"Is it really worth watching?" The tabby asked the fox.

"Yes. Hey it's starting!" The second the movie began, the TV shut off as well as the lights and other appliances. "What the fuck!"

"I think we're going through a blackout, I heard Kat's Eye News talk about them earlier. Something about conserving the city's energy." The tabby yawned, it was pitch black thanks to the night outside.

"Well fix it!"

"I can't do anything to fix it." Cody rolled his eyes, though it was useless since the fox couldn't see it.

"Well all I see is darkness, at least use the flashlight!" Roy kept yelling, being in a bad mood missing the movie.

"Shit, we forgot to buy batteries for it... Oh wait." The tabby reached inside his underwear. "I always keep glow sticks in my boxers just in case." He snap the stick for a slight neon green glow that barely illuminated anything. "Huh, this isn't as effective as I thought it would be..."

"Why do you even keep that in your boxers?"

"Y'know, just incase of spontaneous light raves." The tabby began beatboxing and spinning the glow stick. After a few seconds of that, he looked at what he hoped was Roy's direction. "You're glaring at me with a great disdain, aren't you?"

"Correct. Now if only the city could turn on the fucking power!" Roy yelled, he began to rant and complain while Cody still kept up his solo rave. "Are you even listening to me?!"

"Dude, just be patient."

"I'm trying to be!" The fox yelled and watched the light stick float in the air in very erratic patterns with poorly made dubstep music coming from the tabby. "I would punch you in the face right now, if only I knew where it was..."

* * *

Doubles

Roy sat down with his companion of a breakfast themed snack. Cereal smiled as he pet a duck. Just then nature was calling the fox.

"Is that an orchestra?"

"I need to change that ringtone..." The fox sighed and went after his phone. Just then a portal opened and Cereal's creator came out, he will be referred to as Narrator.

"Oh, what are you doing here?"

"Oh nothing..." The two were identical, Cereal being somewhat of a self-insert OC. When Roy came back into to the room to see the identical people, the fox yelled.

"What the hell!"

"Roy, shoot him! I'm the real one!" One shouted. Though the fox was confused on why he should kill one of them. Especially since neither of them have done anything bad. But thanks to the peer pressure brought on by the two, Roy pulled out a gun and began to shake as he directed the firearm at the possible twins.

"I don't know which one to shoot!"

"You know this Roy, I know you do!" The fox thought for a moment.

"What is the definition of we?"

"You and me, duh." One of them replied.

"This is actually my personal favorite... WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Without hesitation, the fox shot that impostor.

"How did you know?" Cereal asked.

"I didn't. I just get annoyed by that..." Just as he handed over the gun, Roy's creator came out.

"Hey...Whoah shit!" He gasped as soon as the gun was pointed at them.

"Which is the real one?!" Cereal shouted, suddenly in the other end of this cliché. Both of the Roys deadpanned.

"Oh I don't know, MAYBE THE ONE THAT'S NOT A FOX!" One shouted. Cereal pulled the trigger repeatedly to find that it was empty.

* * *

Fraylo

The two ten year old Cody and Roy sat on the couch as Cody was maneuvering himself in awkward positions whilst playing a game.

"Um, what are you doing?"

"Milking cheese out of my ass, what does it look like I'm doing?" The fox tilted his head.

"It's hard to say, y'know... moving the controller doesn't exactly make your character move faster. You just look silly..." Roy began thinking again. "Like a mime riding a unicorn horn, on an elephant, in a pizza truck, in outer space and it's exploding... and the flames are donuts, that's how silly you look."

"Shut up, I'm under fire here!" Cody silenced the fox.

"What are you playing?"

"Fraylo 4." The tabby responded as the in game announcer spoke.

"Obtained item, Super-Laser-Sniper Rifle."

"Awesome, I got the Super-Laser-Sniper Rifle!" The tabby cheered just as his character was killed. "Aww c'mon, I didn't even get to use it! Every time I get an awesome weapon, some dude spanks my ass like an abusive parent. See, I can't have nice things."

"You really shouldn't be swearing..." The fox advised ironically.

"What are you fucking kidding me? You swear more than any other child Jake's adopted." Cody revealed.

"Any child... How many kids did Jake have?"

"42, but I'm not counting babies, frankly the only reason you're still alive is because you can make your own food." Roy watched as Cody's character was blown up again. "That's it. Fuck this game!"

"Would saying something encouraging like ;you can do it if you just try harder' be of any help?" The fox looked at the glare in the tabby's eyes.

"Would shoving a fork into your eyeball make you see any better?"

"Uh no."

"Exactly, so stop shoving your word-forks into my eye-brain." Roy paused for a moment.

"Wait what?" He asked just as Cody lost the match.

"Fuck!" He swore with his legs doing a split in the air to match his weird movements.

* * *

**I just love writing Cody as a ten year old. It's so fun!**


	4. Chapter 4

Weird Day

One day, Jake woke up with a bottle of Coke for his head.

"Jake! What the hell happened to you! ... And why are you so calm about this?" Cody asked, still feeling strange about the situation.

"Y'know what I've been wanting to do?" Roy smiled.

"You're not doing what I think you're doing?" Micheal deadpanned. The fox was holding a pack of Mentos. The fox unscrewed the cap and dropped in the minty candies. "That only works with diet."

"Whoops, my bad!"

Baldo tilted his head and smiled.

"I know what he needs, a hug!" The human then held on to Jake and shook him a bit, causing the soda bottle to fizz.

"Stop, it's like you never had a carbonated drink before! And you call that a hug?" Chance stopped the vigorous shaking. The fox came back holding a manga book.

"Maybe he just needs a bedtime story. One time, there was this guy and another guy and they did things like *BEEP* and *BEEP* it was so big!" Cody tossed the yaoi out of the fox's hands.

"That's not going to make him feel better."

"I kinda liked it..." Chance added. The lynx walked up to the soda bottle Jake.

"To really change him back, he needs to remember how it was like to have a normal head. Try thinking of your most fondest memory."

Jake began to remember a time where he and Chance to Callie out to the beach, though an accident occurred that caused both kats to pop up out of the water naked... To this day, he still didn't understand how they didn't noticed at first.

"I know what'll cheer you up, letting me drink you." Roy smiled. "Don't worry, I'll drink you slowly..." Jake then managed to toss the fox out of the room through the window.

* * *

Battle Couple

"Roy, I need your Pokémon!" Jake cried as he ran in the room.

"Why, don't you have that over leveled Scizor?"

"Yeah, but your Togekiss is better, please, I cannot lose to Micheal." upon hearing his boyfriend's name, the fox's grin grew wide.

"Alright, you can borrow one of my Pokémon, but it won't be Hope." The fox tossed over one of his Pokéballs.

"Thank you!"

Later that day...

"Alright, you ready Jake?" The lynx called out from the other side of the field.

"I hope so... Go, whoever!" After the flash of white light vanished, the cinnamon tom stared at the Zoroark that was his rented Pokémon for the day.

"Hey, it's Gizmo, alright then, go Shotze!" Micheal sent out his Leafeon, which immediately ran up to the Zoroark.

"Uh, crap, I don't know his moves..."

"It's ok, looks like he just used Harden."

"Wait what!?"

"Now he's using Peck... Sweet Scent, Peck again... And now Encore." Jake sighed, witnessing the two Pokémon get intimate.

"I'm killing Roy later..."

* * *

Family Tree

"Hey dad, I have to do a school report on my family heritage, so who's what and from where?" The ten year old tabby asked as he sat infront of his father.

"Uh, how far back?"

"As FAR back as you can trace, like some Adam and Eve shit." Cody stretched his arms out.

"Stop swearing."

"Sorry."

"Anyways, I'm Irish and Italian, your mother was Mexican and Native American, your Grandmother was Italian Jewish and a your Grandpa was German and French... So y'know, all of that stuff. Not sure about your mother's side though, she's kinda a lose cause now." The older tabby explained.

"Damn, that's one fucked up melting pot."

"Yeah, we're all kinda mutts at this point."

"So... do I get to have a Bar Mitzvah when I'm thirteen?" The younger tabby smiled.

"Uh, not sure you can."

"Why not!?"

"I'm pretty sure you have to be a certain percentage to be considered part of that race, you just can't say your one race for the personal gain and abuse the system."

"Fuck the system." Cody had to spoke out in a plain tone and normal tone.

The point is, you shouldn't really use your race for the personal gain and let it define you or let others alienate you because of it."

"Oh... so can I still get a circumcision when I'm thirteen?" Chance had enough arguing for the day and just decided to go with it.

"Eh why not?"

"Whooohoo! Circumcision! I'm gonna invite all my homies!"

"During lunch, we're going through a long list of culturally insensitive words you shouldn't use." Chance believed that he should prevent more swears going into his mind.

"You're just saying that 'cause I'm black!" Cody pointed at his father.

"You're not black! Go to your room-"

"Never! This is my land! I shall burn your small pox infected blankets and take back what rightfully belongs to my people! MY PEOEPLE, MY PEOPLE SHALL BE FREE!" The small tabby began to fly out of the room. Yelling freedom as he did so.

"That... that didn't go too well."

"Racist!" The tabby came back and shouted at his father.

* * *

**I just love writing these... I love nonsense.**


	5. Chapter 5

When Callie discovered Yaoi

One day the Deputy Mayor visited Felina in her home. Though her friend had to leave before she arrived and didn't tell her. So Miss Briggs was just wandering through Felina's home trying to look for her. Eventually she was in the Lieutenant's room.

"Felina, are you here?" She eyed the desk with a laptop on it, seeing that it was still on. "Guess she left it on before she left." Taking a seat at the chair in front of it, Callie stared at what Felina was looking at.

"Is that... T-Bone and Razor? W-What are they doing? What happened to their pants!? What is this!?" She gasped and began breathing heavily. "FERAL, WHAT'S HE DOING THERE?! THREESOME! OHMIGAH!" Her breaths became more short and more periodic. "WAI IS T-BONE DRINKING MILK OFF OF RAZOR!?

She began to freak out eventually floating up in the air while making a death defying scream that oddly sounded just like a fax machine. Eventually going through the walls and floor.

Felina walked in with Baldo and a random friend while each held random objects in their hands.

"Look at all the cool stuff I got!" Felina smiled.

"And at really low prices!" Baldo added. Though they stopped smiling when they heard strange 'KYAAAAS' in the distance. Callie phased through the wall and was screaming her head off while still floating through the room. A scream that will haunt everyone in their sleeps. Eventually Felina punched Callie and brought her back to reality.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"You sicken me..."

* * *

Spell training

Roy sat at his throne as usual, admiring how quiet it was. Until of course Micheal ran in with more news.

"King, I found a way we can save the princess!"

"Wait, she's still alive? You think they would've killed her after a month." The fox added while the lynx sweat dropped.

"Well, yeah she is. But we can learn magic and burst through their gates and save the princess." The fox waved his scepter, casting a fireball.

"Already have an enchanted scepter, I don't need to learn magic, but you can, babe." Roy smiled as he looked at his love.

"Oh, I'm ahead of you, let me show you what I can do. Holit!" A white orb was sent hurtling towards the wall and exploded on contact, the lynx continued to send them and eventually destroyed the entire wall.

"That was awesome, but you kept spamming the same spell."

"Well, it was the only one I could afford and learn." The fox sighed.

"Well the only thing you're doing with the spell is spelling out stupid... All you're doing is sending out your white balls to go out and explode." Upon hearing his analysis of his attack, the lynx began to blush. "But I oddly like it..." Again, Micheal felt his cheeks get flushed with blood.

"W-Well, I don't know what to say."

"Come here." Roy ordered, the lynx didn't hesitate to follow the command and made his way to his lover. The fox cupped his cheek and smiled.

"You're going to have to rebuild that wall." Micheal felt his pulse return to normal as he deadpanned. Then an impulsive thought popped in his mind, he leaned in and whispered in his ears.

"Or you can have someone else fix it while we put on a show." The seduction in his voice caused the fox's head to be knocked back by the full force of a massive nosebleed. "Gotcha!"

* * *

Yuukei Yesterday (Yesterday Evening)

The lynx sighed as he walked towards the school in the morning, headphones on and blasting music as seemed to glare daggers at everyone. _'If these people don't like seeing me look so grumpy, they don't have to stare.'_

"Hey, Good morning!" A voice shouted, even with his music, the voice was still clear to him. Looking over to the sound of the voice, he saw the fox with a smile trying to greet him. Roy stretched side to side, his seemed a bit messy, but it was his usual style to have it like that. Though Micheal never would've admit it, he actually liked seeing him so cheerful and such. _'If he just looked me in the eyes, maybe we'd fall in love-No wait, I'm not into that stuff.'_

"Hey Micheal, does this drawing look good?" The fox shoved his sketchbook in front of the lynx to show a detailed picture of himself dousing off in class.

"Uh-It looks nice." Every moment they would speak, Micheal would start scowling and even stutter with his words. After class the lynx would bang his head against the wall asking himself why the hell he was going crazy with these feelings.

Even so he felt he knew the reason why and called himself a fool. The next day he thought of a plan to get Roy's attention. By playing hard to get! He put on his headphones and waited for him to say something. Though eventually Micheal rose from his desk and felt his whole world turn upside down after realizing his mistake. Roy stared in a bit of shock, but amusement. The lynx's headphones weren't even plugged in. Micheal locked eyes with Roy and felt the blood and embarrassment show on his face. _'dammit I can't say anything! Not even how much I hate that face he has!'_

The next day

This time the lynx was ready, he was going to say it to Roy no matter how much it would kill him inside. He watched as the fox was about to take a seat.

"Wait I need to tell you something." Micheal stopped him from sitting. Roy smiled at him.

"You look like you're having a good day." The lynx blushed and glared a bit.

"Do you just not comprehend my hate or should I just count all the reasons?"

"Sorry, you just look incredibly happy today." The lynx began to pinch on his cheeks.

"I hate this type of cheeky kind of person!" He sighed mentally, knowing he failed another day.

The very next day

This time the lynx was certain he would do it today. This time during P.E. while they were running on the track. The fox was way ahead, but Micheal was using every bit of energy he had to reach him. Though by the time he made it to him, he collapsed on the ground from exhaustion.

"Fuck it, I'm gonna die alone..." He gasped as he fell unconscious.

* * *

**Ok that last one was yet another Kagerou Project song... Honestly, when I heard Yuukei Yesterday and watched that video. It screamed the way those two first acted together. Dammit Kagerou! Why do you make such great songs!**


	6. Chapter 6

WHO WAS PHONE?!

Blado felt like he was in heaven. Just moments ago he was watching Scaredy-kat with Chance, then the second Jake and Roy leave to go shopping, he switches it to porn and starts making out with him. Best moment in his life to be with the daddy tabby. But all of a sudden his phone rang and he had to answer, after of course taking a few breaths.

"Hello?"

"What are you doing with my Father?!" The human hung up and looked at the tabby.

"I think Cody knows what we're doing..."

"But Cody's dead, remember?" After a minute of letting the info absorb in his mind, Baldo yelled.

"THEN WHO WAS PHONE!?"

* * *

Childish War

Paul sighed as he ran a hand through his combed brown hair, feeling exhausted from his dinner with his brother, Keith.

"That idiot doesn't get it, I'm the ruler of this family, not him."

"The one to rule will be me!" A steak knife flew through the air and stabbed the wall inches away from Paul's face. He gripped a fork still in his hand and ran back into the dinner.

"Idiot, can't you see that your immaturity will cause the whole kingdom to rebel against you!" They began to sword fight with random silverware. Their yelling just being a mix of curses and insults toward the each other.

"At least I'm not in love with a 17 year old boy!" Paul yelled as he sliced across his younger brother's cheek. A butler that was calm and observing the fight held up a sign that indicated a score count for each brother. Paul currently had one while his redheaded brother remained at zero.

"Well, at least I have a love interest!" Keith yelled back, his knife cutting off a few brown strands from his hair. The butler placed a tally on Keith's score. The two kept going on. Eventually both stopped after a dramatic throw.

"Huh? wait, is this a draw?!" Both stared at a knife and fork protruding out their chest. They looked at the score board to see all their tallies added up to the same number. Instead of settling down and making up. They started up another argument.

* * *

Voodoo Balloon

It was a peaceful day for Megakat City. A lone pink balloon casually floated alone in the park. The fox noticed it and walked up to it.

"Oh cool a balloo-" He poked the balloon, popping it as well as his own head. His brain splattering around the place. A strange ominous lightning lighting up the day. Moral of the story kids, don't play with balloons unless you want to blow the fuck out of your brains.

* * *

Not enough Screen time

Dr. Viper walked through a house, passing by a couch that had Turmoil sitting behind it. She stared up at the ceiling with a very stoic expression.

"What are you doing?"

"Wondering when we will make an appearance in the story..." Instead of responding, the lizard sat with Turmoil and stared at the ceiling, pondering the same question.

One hour later

"Maybe you should write everyone in it..." Micheal advised, staring at the large crowd gathering behind the couch.

"Fuck that, there's no room for them." The fox spat back.

"The most reoccurring villain you use is the Past Master, think you could fit someone else in?" Roy thought for a moment.

"Alright, but I'm not using any of them." He hooked his thumb and pointed at the peanut gallery. The lynx deadpanned, but sighed and walked away.

* * *

The worst Halloween ever

"Lamest Halloween evah! We only had like, one trick or treater!" The fox complained. Cody sighed and looked at their bowl still full of candy.

"eh, who cares, more candy for me."

"You really think you need more candy?" Roy asked.

"Yes I do..." The young tabby responded.

"last year was way better, we got way more trick or treaters."

"Those won't trick or treaters, those were home invaders." Cody corrected him.

"They took some candy."

"And the TV, some money, and other things... Fucking bastards."

"Regardless! It was way better last year." Cody sighed as he looked at Roy.

"I disagree." He ended his argument with just a disagreement.

"Your costume sucks by the way."

"Dude, my costume rocks. Besides, I'm not just a grim reaper, I'm a sexy reaper." He said motioning to he very revealing hoody. "And what the fuck are you supposed to be?" The fox was wearing a giant foam costume.

"A middle finger, also known as a FUCK YOU!" Roy yelled, possibly the best line he has ever said. "We got any bubblegum cigarettes in there?" He searched through the bowl.

"Dude, that's like candy from the 40s."

"So, the 40s were awesome. There was cool horror movies, awesome radio stations, and everyone wore a Hat. Didn't matter how hot it was. 106 degrees? Don't care, I'm wearing a fucking hat!" The fox brought up a time that he wasn't even born near.

"Whatever, just eat your candy." The young tabby brushed him off.

"Next year better not suck this much or I'm shoving this costume so far up your ass, you'll be coughing up foam for a month."


	7. Chapter 7

One True Pairing

Roy sighed in content as he read through a oneshot.

"Hey, watchya readin'." Keith greeted him, causing the fox to jump and fall over. "Uh, ok...?"

"Don't read it!" Reverse Psychology coming into affect, the scarred up redhead read the story anyways. Afterwards he glared at his brother.

"You were readin' a story about me, mah buddy Ellis, and that Nick fella all havin' a threesome..." The fox gulped.

"Yes, you three are my OTP, the one pairing I will defend and claim canon for as long as I live." Roy chuckled. "I sometimes call it an OT3..."

"I worry 'bout you sometimes..."

* * *

Art is smart

"Looky, a picture I drew of you in art class!" Roy held up a picture for Miss Briggs.

"You sat in on one of the art classes I modeled for?" Callie looked at the fox.

"The evidence is here!"

"What the hell is this?!" She stared at the drawing.

"It's a portrait."

"Of...?"

"You! Stupid, duh!" She deadpanned.

"This looks nothing like me..."

"Clearly it is!" He pointed at a stick figure wearing headphones and dancing.

"You see, here is your eyeball, see how it dances in the moonlight?" He then pointed at a city. "There is your face-mouth." Next was a strange creature. "And here, is your fatty boob of greatness."

"My boob is a dinosaur attacking the city?"

"No, it's a giant lizard with a Mohawk and a pair of tongs, like the ones you have in your drawer." Callie sighed.

"Those are thongs not tongs, and why is my boob saying 203?"

"Well, I figured that was your bra size..."

"And what about the rocket monster about to crash into a boat?" The fox smiled.

"Those, now those are the butt cheeks, see the little man on the boat says, 'maybe we'll live' but upon collision of the two cheeks, survival is very doubtful."

Callie had a large drop of sweat creep down her head. "And what about the moth thing?"

"Not moth, that's your lady part of entry." The fox explained.

"Why is it saying half?"

"Well, it was an awkward pose, so I only saw half of it. Wonderful likeness if I do say so myself." Callie sighed.

"Whoever said there is no such thing as bad art, really needs a copy of this..."

"Oh thank you, I should really do some more self promotion." Having enough of this conversation, she crumbled up the drawing in her hand. Roy's eyes widened and he screamed for a good half hour.

* * *

Contact Troubles

Feral sighed as he looked through his phone, someone had changed all the contact names in it to random vulgar names. He decided to go through and find out who was who by text, the first of course was the contact name 'Shitface'.

_Who is this?- Feral_

_Well, it's me Commander, Steele- Shitface_

_... Oh yeah, they didn't change this one...- Feral_

_Uh, what do you mean?- Shitface_

* * *

Date fail

"Ok, open your eyes babe." The fox had taken Micheal to the top of the clock tower. He was planning to eat ice cream with him while looking out at the sunset. A great date in his mind. The lynx opened his eyes and nearly jumped out of his skin. He was staring right at the large drop not even one foot away from him. He jumped back into the arms of his lover.

"I hate heights!" He screamed.

"As much as I oddly find it arousing that your claws are digging into my skin, maybe you should let go and we can go somewhere else?" The lynx nodded and gladly walked out of the high clock tower.

Now at a park, Roy brought out some ice cream.

"Um... I'm not really into sweets." The fox cursed himself and tossed the ice cream away, hearing a scream, not sure if it was a kat or regular cat. "I'm sorry, I'm making things difficult."

"It's fine, I still love that I got to spend time with you." He held onto his paw, a smile still on his face.

"I'll make it up to you tonight." The fox felt the blood rush to his head and he blushed uncontrollably.

* * *

**How much I love writing these.**

**And now a message to my dreamer. I did not laugh, I had the smile you loved so much. And the reason I didn't ask your assumed question was because I fully trust that every word you tell me is nothing but the truth. Now I have another question. I'm curious, what kind of collaboration story do you have in mind. Also... What would you do the second we meet? I already know what I would do...**


	8. Chapter 8

The Kingdom's town

It was an average day at the castle, the king stared at the still gaping hole in the wall made by his lover. He counted down and predicted the lynx to come in any second claiming to know things to save the princess. _'3...2...1..._'

"Roy!" The fox clapped as he timed his countdown correctly. Micheal sweat dropped, not knowing why he just clapped loudly. "We can discover the enemies' weaknesses by talking to the peasants!"

"... Explain to me how peasants know the weakness to dragons, goblins, and army soldiers?" They stared in awkward silence at RPG logic.

"Just follow me..."

One hour later

Roy stood in the center of the castle town with his lover beside him, he stared at the random civilians and wondered about their lives.

"So I just walk up to any random guy and talk to them?" Micheal nodded, the fox walked up to a woman and asked her a small question.

"If you hit Cyclops in the eye, it'll be a super effective hit."

"Wow, I just asked how was your day..." The lynx walked by and said hello to a little boy.

"I like shorts, they comfy and easy to wear!" Micheal sweat dropped.

"Peasants say the weirdest shit..." The fox whispered to the lynx.

"And the merchants only sell gear and potions, not anything close to regular clothing or food."

* * *

Marking territory

Chance was just enjoying a nice nap on the couch when all of a sudden he was pushed off by Roy.

"This is my bed."

"I was sleeping on it!"

"Well, it's my bed." The fox snapped back. The older tabby thought for a while.

"Go ahead, sleep on the couch that me and Baldo made out on." Roy chuckled and stared at him with a straight face.

"Me and Micheal had sex on it..." Chance blinked. "And right where you were resting your head is where I cu-"

"You're grounded for a month."

* * *

Lasers

It was another night that Roy was sitting on the couch with Cody only to have the power go out yet again.

"Motherfucker..." The fox whispered as the tabby quickly pulled out the infamous glow stick from his boxers. A repeat of the first blackout continued, only the fox pulled out a laser pointer. He painted it around randomly only to find that the young tabby found it a bit dull actually having Roy entertained rather than annoyed.

"It's no fun when you join in..."

"That's why I did the 'Can't beat 'em, join 'em." The fox continued his own rave.

"Ugh, this boring now... Screw this shit!" The tabby threw his glow stick and watched the laser pointer disappear.

"There we go, now it's quiet." The fox sighed in relief, this being his plan the whole time.

* * *

**Short... I know. But I can't think of anything! Anyways, love, ask away.**


	9. Chapter 9

?

The fox gleefully strolled down the hall with a bright smile and look of excitement on his face. "Oh boy, only two more weeks until it comes out..."

"Two weeks until what comes out? Last I heard, Birth by Sleep is due next Tuesday." Cody asked, crossing his arms and glaring at Roy.

"Oh nothing... Just preordered Fraylo Stretch..." The young tabby had a look of confusion.

"I never heard of that title, was it developed by NAMCO?"

"No... Bungie, I've just been playing my Xbox more..." The fox twiddle his thumbs and looked at the ground, refusing to look Cody in the eyes. Depressing music began to play as the young tabby clenched his fists.

"It's always you and your Xbox, when was the last time you touched Final Fantasy XIII? What happened to you? You used to great at RPGs and Dungeon games, but ever since you got that stupid Xbox, all you care about is First-person shooters and when the next game comes out!" The tabby raised his voice, getting fed up with the fox's bull crap.

"I'm sorry, Cody... It's just too fun..."

"It's about time I do something I should have done a long time ago..." Cody gripped the air and revealed his Scythe and attacked Roy, the fox managed to pull out his C-R-O-W-N-E-D knife in time to block the blade.

"Cody, you can get an Xbox too, then we can play together!"

"I would rather die than play Xbox with you!"

Outside the halls, Jake and Chance watched the fight go on.

"Don't you think they're overreacting just a little?" Jake pointed out as the battle heated up. The fox countered hit after hit, still wishing to get through to his friend.

"Ah come on, it's fun!"

"The hell it is!"

* * *

***sweat drops* I am so sorry to all my readers, I have had the worse luck with my laptop, but have no fear, so far it's running fine, so I will quickly write up the next chapters to everything!So I hope ya enjoyed the random skit!**


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